note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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