Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
