You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize