I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
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