Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
