Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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