Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
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Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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