I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
