I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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