I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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