Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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