I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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