new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
