Please, let me fuck your mom
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
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