IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
