Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
