I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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