Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize