i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The air was thick with penises
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
