you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
