Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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