Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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