and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
