I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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