and you said cock pushups were impossible
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I need to calm my uterus...
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize