hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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