get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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