No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
