Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
fuck your aforementioned shoe
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
