I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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