I think I just saw someone hide a body.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
