Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
