Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
