Are we in a gay sports bar?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
