you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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