I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
