just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
