I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
