I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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