On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
