are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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