office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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