I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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