I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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