she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
false alarm, still single
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
