They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
