Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
we're so committed to being not committed
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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