ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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