is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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