wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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