Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
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I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
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I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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