pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Randomize
