Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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