he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
