3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Swine flu. Run for my life!
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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