she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
