Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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