UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
