Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
