Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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