I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
