I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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