if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
