Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
